Fear of Failure and Mediocrity

Pooh Bear and Christopher Robin

Pooh Bear and Christopher Robin

It’s my last night at the cottage and I will be very sad to leave. I’ve had a wonderful time walking, reading, writing, napping, catching up on CSI thanks to the wonders of Freeview at the cottage, and discovering a new firm favourite – the Gilmore Girls. Fabulously written, and very well acted – I want to live there!

Being in the middle of A.A Milne country I have seen the Pooh bear bridge, went to piglet’s house – but he wasn’t in and also got to see the enchanted place, which was beautiful and peaceful. I had bought a Winnie the Pooh book to read whilst I was up here, and the story that stayed with me was the last one called “The Enchanted Place”. It’s here where Pooh and Christopher Robin leave each other, presumably for Christopher to go to school, and there is a moment between them:

“Still with his eyes on the world Christopher Robin put out a hand and felt for Pooh’s paw.

“Pooh,” Said Christopher Robin earnestly, “if I – if I’m not quite -” he stopped and tried again – “Pooh, whatever happens, you will understand, won’t you?””

My week here has made me excited about soon being able to have the time to pursue my own interests, but there is a doubt that I might not be able to achieve whatever I think it is I want. I’ve often felt this, and shied away from putting myself in a position where I really have to test myself. That time is now running out. I have three more weeks of job security and then I suppose the real fun begins!

My boyfriend is picking me up tomorrow morning, I have spent all day writing and working on my short stories so tonight I’m packing up my laptop and relaxing. I have a can of Dr Pepper, a pork pie, some Twiglets and a Muller yoghurt that I ironically ran 5 miles this morning to buy…